Daring~Open~

[Sonja Amber]

"No." Amy said, nodding. "I'd rather not lose someone I love. Which is the only way I could ever have a vendetta against someone. What's your story?"

[essa]

Essa frowned, "Yes loosing someone is a terrible fate." she said. "My story? Parents died- from disease rather than any other means. I was taken in by my mentor, Kavi. Kavi taught me most the lore and stories I know, as well as took me around most of the country."

Her face got dark.

"He died, from the arrow of a Rassi," she said, anger cutting into her voice.

[Sonja Amber]

"My mother abandoned me at the orphanage. I guess from there, I've told you the rest. I ran away when I was sixteen and I'm living job to job." Sonja said. "And I hate everything to do with this place."

[essa]

Essa nodded. "Your mother probably had a good reason." Essa said. "I'm guessing when the church changed it wasn't for the better."

[Sonja Amber]

"No. Nothing changes for the better in these times. And who knows? Maybe she just didn't want a child. That's why most people give up their children." Amy said. "I never wanted to meet her though. I'm kinda glad that Sister Johnson changed the name she gave me. Now she can't ever find me."

[essa]

"Somethings have, not many but some." Essa said. "You never know, you may already know your mother and not know she is such. Things have interesting, annoying, hateful, charming ways of arranging themselves. I like your name, Amy, it is very pretty."

[Sonja Amber]

Amy smiled.

"It means beloved." She said. "But like I said, that's not even the name that Sister Johnson gave me. It's just a shortened version of my middle name."

She sighed and looked heaven word. She may not believe in anything, but a life time of religion shoved down her throat had inbedded some odd habits. She would do things like that and mutter religious things that meant nothing to her. It was a show. A show she had put on for too long but was too afraid to give up. If she gave up on at least the show of piety and religious belief, she had nothing. All she had ever had was religion and once she lost that, she was nothing. No one.

"Heaven help us." She muttered. "Life is but a drink for the dead. There is nothing unusual about how it works. Mother Nature is a sadist. Everything she does is sadistic and cruel."

[essa]

Essa smiled. "Mother nature is very cruel in her ways. Life is just a cruel puzzle." Essa agreed. "As for heaven can a place really save us, but who knows?"

Essa had lost her faith in God. She had lost her faith in a loving God. She had lost her faith in the good. She hadn't lost her faith in the bad unfortunately. She would rather be a complete shell with out faith then who she was now.

[Sonja Amber]

"It's simply a saying. Heaven represents the good in the world. The good unfortunately left our world, so who knows if it will help." Amy said. "I just keep up my show and let the rest of the world fall as it may. Faith has no meaning left in this world. It's useless."

She'd rather have this show than be a hollow shell. If she went there, she couldn't turn back. Some might be able to. But she couldn't. She had to keep herself from going off the deep end or else there would be no one to drag her back.

[essa]

"Faith is lost to most, those who hold on to it are called many names and have to hide their faith." Essa said. "The message of it has been lost in war and loss." She smiled a bit at the double use of words in the phrase.

[Sonja Amber]

"If you even had faith to begin with. To me it's more of a "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all." kinda thing." Sonja said. "I'd rather just pretend at faith then have nothing to hold on to at all."

[essa]

Essa nodded she understood. "When you stop believing in good and all you have is the bad to hold on to, it gets saddening." Essa said. She glanced around the church, it wasn't the simplest of places, some of the artifacts on the alter at the front could feed a hungry family. "Sometimes even the good isn't what it seems."

[Sonja Amber]

Amy smirked.

"You mean the fact the church is a corrupted, wasteful place that can afford to give it's leaders gold adornments but can't afford to fund it's orphanage well, don't actually give to to the poor, and hate all who aren't them?" Amy said. "Yeah, it's sad. I got into an argument with a priest about our age about this once. Apparently he saw the light after me. He's into drinking, smoking, and being a normal person."

[essa]

Essa gave a half hearted smile- that man or boy could have been a good priest- in the sense that he would have been a good person. Sometimes it was sad those who lost faith, that if they kept it could have become great men and women.

"I have a feeling that loosing an argument to you would take many people drinking." Essa said with a smirk. "Yes, that is what I meant."

[Sonja Amber]

Amy simply smiled.

"Me? But I'm an innocent girl. I could never do anything to harm someone." She said, putting an innocent face on.